Ylonda Gault Caviness has no use for mommy groups, peeling the skins off peas for babies, wet-wipe warmers and the shelves and shelves of parenting books that have taken over child rearing.

That's when a bit of advice from her old-school mama sounded in her head: "Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!"

In other words, this working, African-American mom of three breathed in and out – deeply – then took a seat and realized making her brood happy all the time at all costs, including her own sanity, was the wrong way to go.

Caviness: My mom was and is a very pragmatic person.

AP: What are some of the hard truths about race and raising children that you take on in your book?

Caviness: I wanted to write it as a black mom who was brought up a certain way, and I'm not saying every black mom in the country was brought up the way I was.

AP: How does a mother of today reconcile the past with the 'professionalization' of parenthood?

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