Ghinwa Yateem's article "No matter how perfect, I cannot marry a Christian man" (April 14)
I think perhaps you are right. If you can see all the pitfalls then it would not be a very good idea for you to marry outside your sect. Perhaps the reason you did not see this before was not because you were protected or even brought up in an ideal environment, but because there was no need for the subject to come up as you were too young?
Many of the things you say are quite true, but isn't it possible you are not seeing the larger picture because you are too close to the situation? On top of which, I sense that there are pressures within your own circle preventing you from even contemplating such a decision. You are talking about the more closed societies where religion has a more political affiliation. When you say they know nothing about you, are you talking about you as a person or you as a religion or even you as a person who sees religion in a certain way? Ignorance does not stem from religion, rather it stems from close-minded blindness that can be found everywhere. I don't think you should be disillusioned by a few uneducated people who have made you want to withdraw, nor am I saying you should marry someone who would cause you culture shock, as marriage is a work in progress which has many challenges to overcome as it is.
But tell me this? Do you really think you would have it any easier if the only criterion you assess is religion? Is it not the individual you are dealing with? And doesn't that individual come from a family who would have the same way of thinking? Therefore, if you can accept him, you would be able to accept them and vice-versa?
In any case, having problems of acceptance with the in-laws is not a religious matter - it's a process of adaptation. A process which you will have to go through regardless. No one here is a victim to society because, in the end, who you choose to interact with, the school you send your child to, the friends you make - those are your society and you have the choice. So it is not a matter of labelling or victimization, although there is always that possibility whatever you do.
We live in a critical world - will we be forced to limit our choices because of any outside pressure that will, in the end, move on to the next and latest sensation? Differences cannot live under the same roof. But that is true only if there is no compromise, no trust, no mutual respect, no understanding and no love, in which case, do you really believe you have a marriage? Religion is not a difference ... it is a personal relationship between you and God ... The real difference is a person who can accept you for who you are or not ... someone who values you as a person or not.
In the end you cannot equate religion to a way of thinking unless that person has a truly limited way of thinking and then you, being as educated as you are, why would you want to marry him anyway? Be he Muslim or Christian?
I think in the end it's the person who matters but if society is pressuring either of you to conform to tradition - notice I say tradition not religion - then there is no hope for it unless you can both break free. If it is too much effort, then there is no basis for the marriage anyway.
Rune Raunen
Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
Ralph Hajj's article "Fundamental principles of Lebanese decadence" (April 19)
The irony and veiled truth that Ralph Hajj had the courage to unveil should be an eye opener to Lebanese citizens and society. There are those who will be offended by his comments and those who will call him a self-hater for depicting and revealing the illness of Lebanese society. It is not out of shame or self hatred, but rather out of love that Mr. Hajj wrote this article. It is only by facing reality, and with self-criticism that we can turn Lebanon into what it has the potential to be: A paradise on Earth. Denying the facts, and ignoring the "malaise" and sickness of Lebanese society, will only make things worse. That said, maybe the next article should focus on the "Fundamental Principles of Lebanese decency."
Samer Mawlawi
Cleveland, Ohio, USA
Nada Raad's article "In the aftermath of the Armenian Genocide" (April 20)
7,000 men and boys' deaths in 1995 in Bosnia constitutes genocide, according to the UN. What is the death of 1.5 million women, children and elderly men from the Armenian population in Turkey-Western Armenia in 1915 called?
Anait Shamshian
Glendale, California, USA
Zeina Abu Rizk's article "US source: Right of return cannot be negated" (April 22)
Americans can give money to Israeli organizations to kill Palestinians, but it is illegal here to give money to Hizbullah and Hamas because they are "terrorist" organizations. In reality, almost every country has its terrorist past - including Israel and America (just ask the British), who instead refer to their "independence movement" once the occupiers capitulate and the new state comes into being. Israel is hoping that a generation of Palestinians will grow up with no emotional connection to the idea of "a right of return." Such thinking is a delusion - what is the sole purpose of Israel itself if not to provide a homeland for Jews? That idea lasted over 2,500 years before it became a reality. Do the Israelis really think that it will disappear among Palestinians in only 50?
Cornelius Diamond
San Diego, California, USA
If you can't even name "the source" don't bother posting this vague nonsense, it's not news. It is a waste of my time.
Debra Jones
San Antonio, Texas, USA
Johnny Kairouz' article "A decade of innocence has made Geagea a unique figure" (April 22)
First, Samir Geagea is not a doctor. Otherwise there would be thousands of "doctors" in the world who have never completed medical training. Second, he is known to be a professional killer. Just because there are other killers not in prison does not mean that he should be set free. Rather, the other killers should be imprisoned also. Third, the term "Lebanese Forces" should always be enclosed in quotation marks. There are many Lebanese forces, but only the army is entitled to be called Lebanese. A political party known for its attacks against Lebanese citizens has no such right.
Peter Yff
Oak Lawn, Illinois, USA
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